The Statement of A Great Mint
by DelilahsAngel
Summary: Lex + Clark + gum = inspiration for a cute lil story. Some slash.


He's drumming on the table to some unknown rythm heard only in his head and  
its driving me crazy.  
I motion for him to cut it out before picking up the call that came through as soon  
as he walked in.   
"Marshall...whats the deal?"  
I look over at Clark who is now sitting in one of the chairs in front of my desk  
playing himself in 'Thumb Wars' and waiting for me to get off the phone and  
acknowledge him.  
"I told you to have those numbers for me by Monday...." I say. People can be so  
incompetent sometimes.  
"Its Tuesday, Marshall, where are they?"  
Whistling. He's whistling now. Good Lord.  
"Hold on."  
I swing around in my swivel chair and glare, "You want to keep it down?"  
The boy looks skyward as if thinking about it and then abruptly shakes his head,  
"Nope."  
"Annoying teenager..." I mumble under my breath but he catches it.  
"Grumpy old man...." He grins.  
"Mr Luthor?" Oh right. Marshall.  
"Im here." I reply shooting Clark another look.  
A wrapper crumbling, a bite sound and now he's chewing gum.  
"The numbers..."  
Chomp.  
"...can have by tomm-"  
Chomp.  
"...ster Luthor..."  
Chomp.  
"Marshall?" I interrupt, "Im going to have to call you back..."  
Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.  
I hang up and stare, "Well, I hope your happy..."  
He nods, "Very." Chomp.  
"Now..." I start quietly, rapidly gaining volume, "What...is...so...  
frickin...important...that you...felt compelled...to... annoy me...while Im...on...the  
phone...?!"  
Chomp.  
"I found out something cool today. If you-"  
Ring.  
Oh for Christs sake.  
"Hello?"  
"Mister Luthor?"  
"Yes?" I say, clearly impatient. I hold up one hand for Clark to give me a moment  
and turn my chair away from him.  
"...so I converted the figures from last..."  
I close my eyes and try to block him out. Lackeys can be so frustrating sometimes.  
The sun hits my eyelids creating a sort of kaliedescope effect. I concentrate on that  
to keep me entertained.   
"...couldnt find the numbers from last quarter so I..."  
Suddenly, the pattern disappears. Must be a cloud. Deep breathing over my face  
and a hot burst of minty air.  
I open my eyes and- "Clark!!? What the fuck are you trying to do!!!?"  
"Excuse me, Mister Lutho-.."  
"Marshall, Im going to have to call you back.."  
Slamming the phone down, I turn to face a very amused looking farmboy.  
"Letting you taste my gum." He's so casual, like people taste eachothers Orbit all  
the time.  
I exhale heavily, "Letting me what?"  
He cocks his head, "Well maybe if you hadnt flipped out on me you would know  
what I meant by..."  
"Wait, Clark rewind...start over...what?"  
He leans in his chair, "Ok well today during lunch Chloe was chewing gum right?  
So she asks if I wanna see sumtin cool so I say sure so she comes up real close like shes  
gunna kiss me right? and Pete, hes so funny sometimes right? so hes like, woah shud I  
leave? and Chloes like, no cuz she doesnt like me like that right? So anyways, she comes  
close and puts her mouth over my nose and breathes in and guess what? I could taste her  
gum!! It was soooo freaky!!"  
  
Oh...My...G-d...  
My head falls into my hands.  
"Lex?"  
"So you were attempting to repeat this...action..on me?"  
"Yes."  
I think about it for a minute.  
"It really works?"  
Hes grinning so wide now. How can anyone resist that?  
"Alright show me then."  
He stands, walks over and places his big wet mint flavored mouth right over my  
nose and breathes and if this werent so utterly ridiculous I'd be so completely turned on  
and...oh no wait I still am.  
"Clark its not working...if your lying to m- Holy Crap!"  
It hits me out of nowhere and it feels as if my entire head is burning with mint  
sensation and geez if I dont sound like a York Peppermint Patties commercial right about  
now....  
"Clarkkk..." I gurgle. This is crazy.  
And then he pulls away and giggles all innocent like. I feel so old.   
"Cool right?"  
What have I gotten myself into? For the love of G-d...  
I sigh and force a smile, "Sure, Clark. Cool. 


End file.
